imaginary dialogue

Yeah… yeah, I am. I am a control freak but I made a decision to let go. To suck it up and deal with people and their unpredictable messes; that’s why I just told you something I would’ve never said to anyone three years ago. I would’ve wrapped it up in a little package with brown string and kept it close because letting go of it, telling you just now what’s going on in my head, that felt like throwing part of me off a cliff. But that’s what real relationship is. Love is tearing out little bits of yourself to give away til nothing you have isn’t shared. As long as you love, you won’t control a damn thing and no, you won’t be safe.

But you can’t have safety and freedom. You can untether all your stuff, all your thoughts, all those feelings you’re afraid to feel and you can fling them to the winds and there will be no guarantees, but you’ll know freedom like you can’t imagine right now. Or you can keep clinging to all those things you think are yours, and you’ll get to the end and open the pack you were lugging and it’ll be full of shiny rocks; but they’ll be your shiny rocks. You kept them safe. And no one will even ask you to share.

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