navel-gazing

This word popped up around me three times in less than a week, spooking me away from blogging – especially since anything I wrote would be drivel right now. There is too much going on.

First of all, Syracuse has black squirrels. I was so startled, my boss was driving us somewhere and I said, “that squirrel is black,” like a preschooler who just learned what “squirrel” or “black” is.

And it has so. many. coffee shops, all trying to be eclectic with the result that they are all the same.

And it is in The North, which is cultural adjustment enough; add church work to the mix, and this is another world.

And I am overwhelmed, all my grandiose ambitions to learn things and serve people are meant for someone larger, I think I was larger at home but there is so much that makes me confused, uncomfortable, angry, happy, intrigued or excited or grateful – if I started writing it all, I wouldn’t stop til the end of the year.

So I eat with my housemates. I call home. I listen to music. And I run at my work, because maybe I’m not so large, but I’m all there is; and sometimes I have the audacity to think I am some kind of Gideon, chosen as much for my unremarkable-ness as for anything else.

Meanwhile, I’ll be trusting God to help me get by on all the nothing I’ve got. And my extraordinary good looks.

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6 Comments

  1. Tyler B

     /  September 7, 2012

    I think you’re on the right track, Lyndsey. Next time you face a challenge, just have your friends light torches and smash pots in the darkness (but no more than 300 of your friends, ok?). Keep up the good work and navel-gazing!

    Reply
  2. Jacqueline in Atlanta

     /  September 7, 2012

    God chose you for your freckles, ya know. It’s why we ALL love you and why all those Northerners will fall in love with you, too. 😉

    Reply
  3. Jacqueline in Atlanta

     /  September 7, 2012

    PS I think when you feel good enough for a God job is when you should start to worry. Look at King Saul . . .

    Reply
  4. I am disappointed in you. I hoped I had taught you to judge one by their character not by their color. Remember that under the fur God created all squirrels the same (except forthe ones that can fly).

    Reply

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