look out the window

This is my favorite snow – falling fast in big thick flakes. I still find all snow enchanting and the cold (usually) exhilarating; the days I am tired of it, it is because I miss home. The snow looks wet, it is blowing sideways, and I am glad to be sitting on a radiator behind two panes of glass. Nate and I are thinking of going to Lake Ontario this Saturday, which suddenly strikes me as silly. We are covered in Lake Ontario.

Two very small boys are playing at shoveling their drive. I have seen them do this with their father before, orbiting his dextrous work with their energetic flailing, shovels quite taller than they. I wonder if they will always imitate him so closely; I wonder if he is a good man. They run inside, half-finished making scrape marks in the piling white dust. I hope they have earned some hot chocolate.

I think it is an important exercise, to sit and look out windows. Occasionally time should be wasted with extravagant inattention, with trust that there is some healing joy in abandoning oneself to the television. But we are not so good at wasting time with intention, slowly, and then snow falls and boys play and all is left unconsidered, and it is not the time that is wasted at all but the heartrending beauty of the world going by outside.

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